Eric Haines brings pure entertainment to the world of comedy. He describes his act as part rock concert, part comedy show and part twisted, bizarre circus, but the truth is he just loves to entertain people. Whether it’s stand-up comedy, unforgettable characters, original music, a six foot unicycle routine or amazing variety acts, Eric Haines puts on a spectacular show that truly has something for everyone.
 

Haines was the winner of the 2004 Northwest Comedy Competition. Highlights of his comedy career include opening for Weird Al Yankovic, Neal McCoy and Louie Anderson.

“You da bomb” -Weird Al Yankovic

“Engaging, honest and heartfelt– you will love him.” -Louie Anderson

“Eric... well... I don't know what the hell he did. He joked, he sang, he jumped around, he molested random people in the audience... I was exhausted just watching him. But the audience thought he was hysterical - and that means he did his job, and exceptionally well, if the laughs were any indicator.” -Ken Pringle, chucklemonkey.com (Las Vegas Comedy Festival review)

Haines grew up in Montana, where he was considered aristocracy because he owned an air compressor. His career as a performer began when a neighbor paid him $10 to perform at a birthday party. Lured by the easy money, he avoided a real job by quickly developing his own comedy-based variety show for corporate events. When Haines began working full time as a professional comedian in 1995 he had already been working as a corporate entertainer for over ten years. He has over twenty years total experience working as an all-around entertainer, both as a comedian and in the professional fields of theater, children’s theater, school assembly programs, festival entertainment, school workshops and corporate entertainment.



Eric toured briefly in a circus just to make his family lose all hope, studied music and voice in Vienna, Austria, and hit the road for five years as an actor with three different theater companies, during which time he married his wife, Kim. She encouraged him to return to the University of Montana to finish his Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in performing, where he graduated with honors and fooled her into believing that he had become responsible and mature. After finishing his degree he spent eight years as half of a headlining comedy team called the Rock and Roll Comedy Circus of Death. After the team broke up in 2003 due to artistic and personal differences that were all the other guys fault, Haines struck out on his own and won the first two comedy competitions he entered.



Haines also spent three years personally building his family’s dream home. In an ironic twist, upon completing the 4,000 sq ft log house surrounded by a pine forest, medical tests revealed that he that he is severely allergic to pine. He now lives in a plastic bubble near Seattle with his wife and twin children.

He will make your puny brains quiver like a bowl of congealed chicken fat.